Esha cannot tell a simple story. Everything she says sounds like it belongs in a thriller novel. If she saw a cockroach, it was “HUGE, practically a mutant, and it FLEW straight at her.” If she got stuck in traffic, it was “the worst jam in history—cars weren’t moving for HOURS.” If she got a slight fever, she was “burning up like a furnace, basically on her deathbed.” By the time she finishes talking, you don’t know whether to be shocked, impressed, or just exhausted. One evening, a group of us was chatting when Esha dramatically leaned in and whispered: Esha (lowering her voice): “Guys… I was ALMOST KIDNAPPED last night.” We immediately stopped talking. Me: “Wait, WHAT? What happened?!” Esha: (looking around suspiciously) “I was walking home, and this car pulled up NEXT TO ME. And it STOPPED.” We all gasped. Friend: “Oh my god. Did someone get out? Did they try to grab you?!” Esha (dead serious): “No… but they ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW.” …Okay? Me: “And…...